Being single seems to be a gift and a curse at times. It can provide an exit for when a "fairytale" relationship has turned into living nightmare. But it can also feel like watching paint dry, as you anticipate the arrival of Mr. Right. Sometimes there is an implication that if you're single, that there is something wrong with you. The dreaded questions: "Why are you single?", "How long have you been single?", and "Do you like being single?" can seem like a doctor asking a patient what is wrong with them, so that they can find them a remedy. As a single woman, I can tell you that there have been plenty of times where I have been sick and tired of being single. At times I felt like God was putting me in solitary confinement, and I was never getting out.
Being a person that likes relationships, it took me awhile for me to adjust from breathing in someone else's air, to breathing my own. It felt awkward and uncomfortable. I twiddled my thumbs and looked at my watch like, "Okay God, where is my man at?". But in time I had one of those Oprah "ah ha" moments. I realized I had spent so much time with someone else that I never took time to be in a relationship with myself. I did a much needed self-evaluation. I looked at my ended relationships and why they had not been successful. I discovered emotional scars that I carried from one relationship to the next. And I embraced the fact that I did not know, nor did I love myself the way I thought I did.
I have learned to appreciate the gift of being single. I have taken this season in my life to love me, all of me! The good, bad, ugly, and in between. I have started to follow my dreams and pursue passions that had collected dust when I was preoccupied with someone else. I have strengthened my relationship with God, which is showing me to love him, so that I can give and receive love in the manner that is appropriate for having a healthy relationship. And I have learned to enjoy my own company and to be completely happy without being attached to someone.
So ladies, if your relationship status is "single", be grateful and take this time to date yourself. Do some much needed self-work, pursue your passions, put yourself first, be happy and content alone, and learn to LOVE YOURSELF!!! In order to have that beautiful relationship you've always wanted, you have to become what you want to attract. There will be times you wish you had a boyfriend to cuddle up with on those rainy days, and to watch movies with until y'all fall asleep together. Believe me, I know the feeling all too well. But the joy, peace, and happiness that you get while being single, will only be magnified when you meet the right person. So be single, and enjoy yourself. God will send your king, when you become a single and satisfied Queen.