What is a situationship? If you're not familiar with the term it means being in a situation with someone emotionally, mentally, physically, and/or sexually that resembles a committed relationship, but there is a lack of commitment on someone's part. Nowadays dating is pretty much non-existent. People would rather "Netflix and Chill", than to actually get to know someone on more than a physical level and be with someone exclusively. It's evident all over social media. People are consumed with each other but are not committed to each other. It appears that situationships are the new normal. The reality of situationships is that 1 of the persons involved is going to be more invested mentally and emotionally and will be hurt in the end. I know first hand because I was in a situationship with an ex, for 3 years on and off. I know that's a looonngg time.
It began after he broke up with me, after being together for a year. After he broke it off I was devastated, distraught, hurt and even desperate to have him back. Although he made it clear that he was not my man, and I was not his girlfriend anymore, I just couldn't shake him loose. Maybe because it was my first real relationship and that I loved him that I opened up the door for a situationship to happen. After our breakup, I continued to give him girlfriend privileges by making myself available to him emotionally, physically, and sexually. In a way he had me wrapped around his finger. At times he made me feel that we were "together" through his actions and words. I knew however that he was involved with other people, but whenever he called I answered. Whenever he invited me places I went. I even still spent time with his family. I figured having a piece of him was better than having nothing at all. But as time went on my patience started to wear thin. I wanted more and I deserved more. I knew that I had opened Pandora's Box, but I needed to close the lid.
The back and forth of mixed signals, lost communication, and double standards started to take it's toll on me. It was mentally and emotionally exhausting. By the third year, a more mature, assertive, and wiser Corinna hit the scene. I no longer wanted a situationship. I wanted a real relationship. It was then where I decided to confront him on what we were. I already knew the answer, but hearing the words escape his lips but the final nail in the coffin. His words were that we were "just chilling" and that he reminded me that he did not want a girlfriend, just as he had said 3 years prior. But I thought our connection, time spent together, memories made, and fun we had would outweigh his decision. Man was I wrong. That day I left his house, I never returned. I left that situationship sitting right on his couch for him to have with someone else, because it sure was not for me.
Although my ex is not a bad person, I just realized that we spoke two different languages when it came to relationships. As women we have the innate nature to nurture, forgive, and put up with more than we should. We let things slide and may compromise on things that go against everything we feel, because we think things will go differently. Don't, I repeat DON'T! invest your time, energy, feelings, and love on someone who wants you, but doesn't want to be with you. It doesn't matter if he tells you that he loves you, takes you on nice dates, fancy dinners, trips, and to his mom's house, none of that stuff matters if the commitment component is null an void. I learned through my experience in a situationship to stand up for what you deserve, and never settle. If an authentic, committed relationship is what you want, then let that be known and don't settle for a situationship that will leave you dazed and confused. You are a Queen and a true King will not be afraid to commit to you and only you. Don't compromise your self-worth, dignity, and self-respect by being in a sticky situationship.